I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
