We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
