Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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