AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
