maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
