But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i think i have two assholes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Send help, water and tortillas.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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