I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
