This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What a dumb baby whore.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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