Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
