Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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