At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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