I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
And then he peed in my hair
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