I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am naked and annoyed.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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