I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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