His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
