It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
