Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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