everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
