You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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