Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
