Having a random hookup so left but love u
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
