How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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