she was so not down for the gang bang
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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