She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
