her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
