we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
