Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
