why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
