Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
