i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Why are your pants in the freezer?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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