not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
