Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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