I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
