I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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