TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
