Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
