Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
