Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
