My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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