we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
