since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
