I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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