Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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