i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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