i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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