Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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