i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
