I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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