In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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