I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
