addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
