there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
