I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
